I Didn’t Shoot My Eye Out

Its’ an old story but true ,i was looking for the original post being reminded by someone i adore but alas its’ much more fun to rehash miserable holiday tales…

Every year for the holidays we would visit what was left of our family on my fathers’ side of course
since there was nothing but stories left of my mothers
they lived in a very nice neighborhood that hated me and i also hated it i was more likely to be involved in a yuletide scrap whilst trying to sneak a smoke down the street away from the elders eyes(yes thats’ how young i was)
my cousin threw my name around like i was mike tyson so that didnt’ help my case much but also there was quite the feud between this place of glory homes and my neck of the gutter,all these little pricks knew who i was so there was not much chance to hide more so when people are announcing my visit like the baby J.C
there was no love lost between myself and the family
i was the wrong side of the track donkey and the butt of the jokes so i loved xmas time here although it was done with love but when all the jokes are the same it doesnt’ take a 15 year old to figure out how they really felt about me not cordially embracing their way of life or how long they cooked the pasta sauce
as i got older they got better towards me even if its’ another story
this was saturday the 23rd so all i wanted to do was get the abuse over with and back to the neighborhood for drinks just like any young hooligan of 15 wants no?
i labored biting my tongue all day dodging the depressing bullshit
then hit the block running
got to the corner and it was empty
checked out both parks and alleys but no one to be found
yes, all i needed was a scrawny xmas tree i felt like the daft kid in the after school specials looking around for friends when it was two days before the holiday they were off doing what families do
so i did what any feeling sorry for himself young man would do , i hit the liquor store
$8.50 i had 4 bottles of the worst MD20/20 mad dog flavor known to man ..the yellow lighting creek with a 40.0z to wash it down i headed to the park to sit alone and wait for anyone to come strolling along
sat there i did listening to horrid cackling of cheery carols from other houses
im’ not even sure how long i was there ,i just remember being at the end of my beer half asleep singing the pogues to myself
when he walked into the park just as drunk as i was carrying a full bottle of johnny walker
laughing his head off at the state i was in kicking my feet to wake me up like a cop
john was good for that
the bottle was passed back and forth
cursing every bleeding thing you can think of that goes along with the holidays
bottle was finished
the sun was not sure if it wanted to get out of bed
the boys from the NYPD were not at all singing
they sent us home
john still knows the words to Fairytale Of NY
we both really cannot stand fucking xmas
all except for the that song


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